As many millions of Indians around the world celebrate Navaratri, which is quintessentially the worship of Goddess Parvati, consort of Lord Shiva, in her nine incarnations or avatars, also a celebration of the feminine power or Shakti according to scriptures, I would like to share my thoughts on being a woman.
From the time I understood the differences between genders I believed I was privileged to be a girl or at the least I wasn’t underprivileged to be a girl . Not exactly sure why, but some strong women in the family, like my mother and grand mother and my school which had mostly female teachers would have definitely made an influence. And of course the wonderful men in my life starting with my father and my brothers who always let me be the person I am. Being born as the middle sibling between two dominating boys wasn't easy. Often I had to try twice as hard to be heard, to be noticed, to be accepted. However it had its own perks. I was the most protected one, though I wouldn't say pampered, and not even sure if its definitely a good thing.
In the protected childhood and adolescence I had, I was given equal opportunities as my brothers. I was very fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends who respected and loved me for who I was irrespective of my gender.
As I grew up I went to a women's college for my graduation and four years spent in the college and hostel, away from home, further deepened my personality and my awareness of womanhood. I saw all kinds of women from all different cultures and backgrounds there. I saw their strengths & weaknesses, their laughter & tears, their victories & defeats, their catfights & big battles, their good & bad. There I was conditioned to fight the huge battles of life, to understand further that your gender doesn't limit you at all, its everyone's personal desire and determination that fulfil their dreams. It was a place where womanhood was celebrated. Most of the women around me were high academic and career achievers. I was an achiever too however I always understood that these achievements doesn't guarantee a happy or successful life .
When I started working I never felt I wasn't respected by my colleagues or seniors. I got my due respects wherever I went and had the maturity and tact to deal with any undesirable behaviour from anyone. I always believe that no one can protect a girl better than herself! I think as women, we are often blessed with an instinct that tells us whether we are going to be ok or not in a particular situation. And I'm not talking about the conscious choices we make, the risks we sometimes are willing to take, which is very personal to each individual.
Womanhood is not a bed of roses , definitely not the flower that withers with a touch. It comes with its own challenges especially in a male dominated world. However we as a gender are much more evolved and empowered I often feel. There are good and bad in everything and everyone but in general we are much more resilient and adaptive. Women have proved over and over again that they are especially good at multitasking. We are born nurturers and patience is definitely one of our virtues.
As a woman I would urge all women to believe in themselves! We are not inferior to anyone and we could well be superior to our male counterparts. But then we shouldn't be in competition with anyone other than ourselves. Somewhere I read" your only competition lies in your mirror" and I completely agree with that. Whatever your age is, whatever walk of life you belong to , whatever socio-economic status you are in, whatever your day to day responsibilities are, do your very best without being disheartened, whether anyone notices it or not, whether you are rewarded for it or not, though the fight to be noticed and rewarded will continue.
There is a perfectionist in every woman, some more pronounced than the others and women are widely acknowledged for their high Emotional Quotient (EQ). But we tend to spend all our emotions on our near and dear ones. Lets be more generous and extend it to the causes that will make a difference to our society, our world. Lets not restrict our world to our men and children alone, lets extend it to the genuinely needy. Lets not side-line our dreams and aspirations for anyone. Everyone has just one life. Lets teach our children to be proud of their mum's achievements as much as their dad's.
I've often seen women shying away from helping other women, especially if they are perceived as more achieving than them...why? Why do we see them as a threat? If we work together we will be unstoppable. Lets get rid of our demons and our insecurities and work together for the betterment of our own kind , for the betterment of the world. A woman can understand another woman much better and lets all be each other's pillars of strength.
Lets show our men that we need them not for the money or the physical protection or to follow societal norms but for friendship, for love, for companionship. For me that is true liberation, true empowerment.
Feminism for me is equality of genders and by equality I don't mean doing the exact same things as men! Why would you want to copy someone who's so imperfect anyway! Make your own rules girls , obviously without hurting or harming yourself or anybody else . The recent Sabarimala row in Kerala following the Supreme Court's verdict on the entry of women of menstrual age reminds me further of the sensibility of women as a gender. The large number of protestors against the verdict were women believers. Now, I strongly feel that this should be a choice of the believers and that judiciary should stay away from it. Though the whole issue is extremely politically motivated, I would like to think that these women are sensible enough to understand that this is not about women empowerment or gender equality but a matter of religious beliefs, which is great! I cant express in words what I feel about the thugs who announced that they will molest any woman entering the temple premises! They should be ashamed of calling themselves :
a. human, b. men, c. worshippers of Aiyappa.
The #MeToo campaign is another wildfire that caught everyone's attention. While I'm elated at the fact that a lot of women are coming forward with their bad experiences with men, and I wholeheartedly appreciate them for their courage, one can't forget that there could be women with malicious intent too. Like men, even women could be molesters & bullies. Men can at times be as vulnerable as women. Women can be vicious, unempathetic, unkind, aggressive and destroying. Because after all we are only humans. The perpetrators whoever they are should be held accountable for. So lets show our fairness and not make it purely a gender issue though majority of the victims would be women.
Let me conclude my thoughts by coming back to Navaratri and the 9 incarnations of the Goddess as revered on these nine days .
- The daughter - Shailaputri- depicting action and vigour
- The unmarried free spirit- Brahmacharini- depicting calmness, wisdom and energy
- The wife/partner- Chandraghanta - depicting beauty and bravery
- The creator self- Kushmanda- depicting power
- The mother- Skandamata- depicting protectiveness and ferocity
- The warrior - Kartyayani- depicting courage and fearlessness
- The aggressive self - Kalarathri- depicting intolerance for evil.
- The mature self- Mahagauri- depicting intelligence and peace
- The most knowledgeable self- Sidhidatri- depicting skills, talent, creativity and knowledge.
I believe we as women have all these 9 powerful forms within us and more, whether we understand and acknowledge it or not. Lets celebrate womanhood, lets celebrate the Goddesses within us!
Disclaimer: I am not the ultimate authority to speak on scriptures , there could be different versions of Navaratri in different scriptures, like Brahma Samiti or Markendeya Purana. However all versions agree that it is the worship of the feminine power , Shakti , whether it is a manifestation of one true God or not whether you call it Durga, Sita, Lakshmi, Kali, Gauri or Saraswati.
